It is often said at this time of the year to focus on giving. It's the season of giving.
I want to ask you, what are you getting?
The gift of the Atonement has already been given. Will you be receiving service from those around you?
But what will you get?
A warm feeling when you look at lights.
A lighter heart from laughing with loved ones.
Will you be getting a stronger testimony? A better relationship with someone? With the Savior?
Are you getting what is being given?
What will you get from this season?
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Eternal Life: Eternal?
Recently I listened to a guy talk about how we are never truly gone.
That's what he said. (It's from a wonderfully quirky Ray Bradbury/Sci-Fi-esque broadcast called Welcome to Night Vale. You can listen to it here. Give it a couple episodes. It can be weird.)
To summarize: When you die, you live on in the lives of those whom you touched. When they die, you continue to live in the people they touched by having touched them. Does that make sense? If it doesn't read the transcript from above. I put it there because he says it better than I do. Or you can listen to it. (It was the "traffic report" from "The List ep 57")
For some odd reason, almost all the the funerals I have ever been have taken place the weekend of Thanksgiving. I've been to maybe one funeral that didn't take place between Oct 1 and Nov 30, the majority on the weekend I spoke about.
One of those funerals was my best friend. Another of a boy I mentored. The list just goes and goes. So it shouldn't be surprising that Thanksgiving is a bit different for me than it is for your average joe. I don't even have to actively recognize that it's that time of the year, my subconscious does it for me.
Some years are better than others, but I'm not going to go into detail. I would like to point out that that excerpt is from the most recent episode and therefore had incredible timing.
My best friend was also my art mentor. When she died, I stopped doing art. I tried it maybe once since then. That was about... 6 years ago. So it's been about 5 years since I tried putting brush to canvas.
This year, I couldn't get the idea out of my head that I should draw. There was a lot going on in my head, and I haven't seriously drawn in years. But the idea kept coming.
So late one night, a pulled out the colored pencils (oddly, the medium I spent the most time with) and some printer paper. It was amazing! The drawings are certainly no Monet, but they weren't awful either. I went from whatever it was I was feeling to feeling lighter and happier.
It was a spiritual experience!
It was a healing experience!
The two go hand in hand.
I'm convinced that God knows use better than we do and He knows EXACTLY what it is we need. Obviously, He doesn't want use to be sad. He truly wants us to be happy.
I share this to share a point. I don't know what you got from it (but I would like to), but what Cecil Palmer (Night Vale) and my art experience are meant to share is that eternal life doesn't always wait until after judgment day. My friend still lives in this life, in a way. By touching the lies of others, she will continue to "live" through me.
The Savior set an example of how to best do this. Through service, love, and all those things that come as a result of follow what we know to be right and good.
Now that the heavy stuff is out of the way, here's this.
I finally saw the new Christmas video. This one.
At the end it says the greatest gift is the gift of eternal life.
"But who wants to live forever?" I thought.
Life is hard. Aging is difficult. In many stories, immortality is looked at as a curse or punishment.
But what if that's not the life that is meant? Yes, yes. There's the eternal perspective. What about life? As in the spark within the world that makes us move? You know- the "get a life" or "living life" meaning. Everlasting... also known as abundant.
What if it isn't years, but life in those years? Eternal life?
Life of joy, excitement, happiness, creativity, love, and adventure.
That, to me, sounds like the ultimate gift.
What do you think? How would you describe the ultimate gift?
P.S.
While finishing this up, it has occurred to me that He has already started giving that life. I gave the example of happiness through creating. Although I never left my bed, I felt as though I had really "lived".
We are eternal! We will not last!But there is more to you than matter. When you die, you will not disappear until everyone who remembers you, and whose actions are affected – however slightly – by your memory, until all of those people die, and you are completely forgotten.We are eternal! We will not last!But even then, you are not gone. Not until all the people who remember and are affected by those people who remembered, and were affected by you, are gone.We will not last!But even then, you are not gone. Not until all the people who remember and are affected by those people who remembered, and were affected by those people who…and so on, and so on, and on.We are eternal!You will persist, ever so faintly, ever so slightly, on into perpetuity. Long after everything about you no longer matters. Your life is so small. But, in the setting sun of this universe, its shadow is cast down through generation after generation, until it gets blurry and hard to see…but still there. A breath of a wisp of a thread stretching out before you.We are eternal! But we will not last!
To summarize: When you die, you live on in the lives of those whom you touched. When they die, you continue to live in the people they touched by having touched them. Does that make sense? If it doesn't read the transcript from above. I put it there because he says it better than I do. Or you can listen to it. (It was the "traffic report" from "The List ep 57")
For some odd reason, almost all the the funerals I have ever been have taken place the weekend of Thanksgiving. I've been to maybe one funeral that didn't take place between Oct 1 and Nov 30, the majority on the weekend I spoke about.
One of those funerals was my best friend. Another of a boy I mentored. The list just goes and goes. So it shouldn't be surprising that Thanksgiving is a bit different for me than it is for your average joe. I don't even have to actively recognize that it's that time of the year, my subconscious does it for me.
Some years are better than others, but I'm not going to go into detail. I would like to point out that that excerpt is from the most recent episode and therefore had incredible timing.
My best friend was also my art mentor. When she died, I stopped doing art. I tried it maybe once since then. That was about... 6 years ago. So it's been about 5 years since I tried putting brush to canvas.
This year, I couldn't get the idea out of my head that I should draw. There was a lot going on in my head, and I haven't seriously drawn in years. But the idea kept coming.
So late one night, a pulled out the colored pencils (oddly, the medium I spent the most time with) and some printer paper. It was amazing! The drawings are certainly no Monet, but they weren't awful either. I went from whatever it was I was feeling to feeling lighter and happier.
It was a spiritual experience!
It was a healing experience!
The two go hand in hand.
I'm convinced that God knows use better than we do and He knows EXACTLY what it is we need. Obviously, He doesn't want use to be sad. He truly wants us to be happy.
I share this to share a point. I don't know what you got from it (but I would like to), but what Cecil Palmer (Night Vale) and my art experience are meant to share is that eternal life doesn't always wait until after judgment day. My friend still lives in this life, in a way. By touching the lies of others, she will continue to "live" through me.
The Savior set an example of how to best do this. Through service, love, and all those things that come as a result of follow what we know to be right and good.
Now that the heavy stuff is out of the way, here's this.
I finally saw the new Christmas video. This one.
At the end it says the greatest gift is the gift of eternal life.
"But who wants to live forever?" I thought.
Life is hard. Aging is difficult. In many stories, immortality is looked at as a curse or punishment.
But what if that's not the life that is meant? Yes, yes. There's the eternal perspective. What about life? As in the spark within the world that makes us move? You know- the "get a life" or "living life" meaning. Everlasting... also known as abundant.
What if it isn't years, but life in those years? Eternal life?
Life of joy, excitement, happiness, creativity, love, and adventure.
That, to me, sounds like the ultimate gift.
What do you think? How would you describe the ultimate gift?
P.S.
While finishing this up, it has occurred to me that He has already started giving that life. I gave the example of happiness through creating. Although I never left my bed, I felt as though I had really "lived".
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Of Puzzles: and Prayers
Part 2! ... again.
Remember way back when I posted about
Take Care of Spiritual Things First
I have found that before things can get better, before your life pulls it self together or "heals, there is a spiritual healing. Before this happens, things generally get pretty bad.
To start at the beginning, do you remember when I posted about starting to read However Long and Hard the Road by Elder Jeffery R Holland? Well, it turns out that whenever there was something I needed to hear, it was Elder Holland who said it. Even if it was a quote on Pinterest or in a class. There was just something about his words that was so spot on, it became a rather profound phenomenon.
I kept getting the idea to write to him. However, that's just weird. I had nothing special to say. And it's weird.
I put this off for a long time (months and months), and it kept coming. Another big way of holland helps came. It got to the point where I felt like he was a good friend of mine; telling me what I need to hear in a way that I will hear it. I decided to at least write the letter, expressing the sentiment. (Even though it's weird) I still wasn't sure if I was going to send the letter when I looked for the mailing address. I found it only because of some bitter angry person. It was at this point I knew I was going to send it come hell or high water. That's my friend! And if he's getting hate mail, he could use some kindness.
I sent it before General Conference and forgot about it.
A couple weeks later, I started having questions. Ridiculous questions. My testimony was beginning to waiver for no apparent reason. I was studying and praying everyday. I wasn't doing anything bad. This only add to the frustration. The sight of the temple still brought this bright home-like feeling. I knew that was true. But I was questioning pretty much everything else. (This became evident when someone started questioning me on the truthfulness of temples. I was able to honestly I had doubts but I was firmly certain of temples.) things get worse before they get better. Probably because of opposition.
I wanted to know. I needed to know. I fasted. Nothing happened that entire day. That night, I asked again. While praying I got a song stuck in my head, so I listened to it while washing my face. I happened to turn the water off at the exact moment a line was said. It impacted me so deeply, it had to have been just the song saying those things.
My first thought the next day was "So... is God real?" I shuffled my music while getting ready. You know when you're not paying attention to a sung and you suddenly tune it? Well I was thinking about how if there is God, then I have no hope. Then what would be the point of everything? My brain suddenly, almost violently, went to the music.
My faith wasn't perfected in that moment, but there was a spark, and I wasn't going to hold a glass over it. There was still confusion, frustration, and so much noise.
Slowly, ever so slowly, it continues to grow.
(Watch the movie only if you are daring. 4 comics spoofing on genre music videos)
A couple days later I got a letter. A letter form The Church of Jesus Christ of Letter-Day Saints: The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Was I in trouble?
I had almost forgotten about having written to Elder Holland. He wrote back! I was not expecting that! It was short. It was simple. It was powerful.
Wow! It packed the spirit! I never get tired of reading it and I feel the spirit just as strong every time. In it he promises that things will get better. Oh, have they ever!
When an apostles makes you a promise, you can count on it.
I also want to share that I know God is generous in his love and forgiveness. If you know me or have read this blog, you know He and I are no strangers to each other.
Imagine it like this. You slave to make the perfect feast for someone. All their favorites with some new and utterly delicious dishes! Can you imagine it? Then when the table has been finished and you asked how it was they say "What dinner? I don't remember any food." I know some people would never invite that guest ever again. However, the Lord is not some people. If you do so much as realize there is a table in front of you, He will bring you desserts.
I am completely shocked, awed, and surprised by Him.
"Our heavenly Father is more liberal in His views, and boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive." (Joseph Smith Jr)
It was a week after this musical epiphany and letter that my grandmas suggested the doctor. They have told me they weren't so sure, but both had the same thought at the same time and went ahead with it.
Remember how the doctor asked me what I love and I said "Music?"
After just the first session, I got a text from a friend to have lunch with her. I have seen scarcely anyone outside my family for the past year. No friends, because I'm too sick for them, and they have busy lives. After just two sessions with the doctor, I was able to laugh with her harder than I have in a long long long long long long long time. I was able to laugh without repercussions.
Also after the first session, my mom walked into my room. She had an envelope in one hand and was obviously trying to suppress excitement. In the envelope were too tickets to my second favorite band!
(Okay, for me to have a favorite anything is a big deal. They are a very very close second. I hold to number one for loyalty reasons) She had briefly mentioned to her friend I loved them, but that I was probably too sick to go. Her friend surprised both of us with free tickets.
This for me was a big big deal. It took about 20 minutes for it to actually sink in. I kept thinking "But this is real life! This only happens in movies! My life isn't a movie!" I might have cried.
This post has no pictures because I'm writing before heading to the concert. Who knows what will happen there!
Healing, true healing, comes from the inside out. I promise you, everyone who is struggling, or even if life is good, it will get better.
You can bank on it.
Shocked, grateful, and awed,
Me.
P.S.
I encourage you to listen and enjoy all of the Bastille acoustic songs. You have my permission to cry.
Remember way back when I posted about
Take Care of Spiritual Things First
I have found that before things can get better, before your life pulls it self together or "heals, there is a spiritual healing. Before this happens, things generally get pretty bad.
To start at the beginning, do you remember when I posted about starting to read However Long and Hard the Road by Elder Jeffery R Holland? Well, it turns out that whenever there was something I needed to hear, it was Elder Holland who said it. Even if it was a quote on Pinterest or in a class. There was just something about his words that was so spot on, it became a rather profound phenomenon.
I kept getting the idea to write to him. However, that's just weird. I had nothing special to say. And it's weird.
I put this off for a long time (months and months), and it kept coming. Another big way of holland helps came. It got to the point where I felt like he was a good friend of mine; telling me what I need to hear in a way that I will hear it. I decided to at least write the letter, expressing the sentiment. (Even though it's weird) I still wasn't sure if I was going to send the letter when I looked for the mailing address. I found it only because of some bitter angry person. It was at this point I knew I was going to send it come hell or high water. That's my friend! And if he's getting hate mail, he could use some kindness.
I sent it before General Conference and forgot about it.
A couple weeks later, I started having questions. Ridiculous questions. My testimony was beginning to waiver for no apparent reason. I was studying and praying everyday. I wasn't doing anything bad. This only add to the frustration. The sight of the temple still brought this bright home-like feeling. I knew that was true. But I was questioning pretty much everything else. (This became evident when someone started questioning me on the truthfulness of temples. I was able to honestly I had doubts but I was firmly certain of temples.) things get worse before they get better. Probably because of opposition.
I wanted to know. I needed to know. I fasted. Nothing happened that entire day. That night, I asked again. While praying I got a song stuck in my head, so I listened to it while washing my face. I happened to turn the water off at the exact moment a line was said. It impacted me so deeply, it had to have been just the song saying those things.
My first thought the next day was "So... is God real?" I shuffled my music while getting ready. You know when you're not paying attention to a sung and you suddenly tune it? Well I was thinking about how if there is God, then I have no hope. Then what would be the point of everything? My brain suddenly, almost violently, went to the music.
"So when you're heart's on fire/ But you know your desire/ Don't hold a glass over the flame/ Don't let your heart grow cold/ I will call you by name/ I will share your road" (Mumford & Sons "Hopeless Wanderer")I guess my name is music. Someone was obviously trying to reach me. (Funny enough, this isn't the first time music has played an instrumental part in my personal conversion.) I wish I could explain the feeling. It happens way down where you can't reach it and surrounds you as if you could breath it and wear it.
My faith wasn't perfected in that moment, but there was a spark, and I wasn't going to hold a glass over it. There was still confusion, frustration, and so much noise.
Slowly, ever so slowly, it continues to grow.
(Watch the movie only if you are daring. 4 comics spoofing on genre music videos)
A couple days later I got a letter. A letter form The Church of Jesus Christ of Letter-Day Saints: The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Was I in trouble?
I had almost forgotten about having written to Elder Holland. He wrote back! I was not expecting that! It was short. It was simple. It was powerful.
Wow! It packed the spirit! I never get tired of reading it and I feel the spirit just as strong every time. In it he promises that things will get better. Oh, have they ever!
When an apostles makes you a promise, you can count on it.
I also want to share that I know God is generous in his love and forgiveness. If you know me or have read this blog, you know He and I are no strangers to each other.
Imagine it like this. You slave to make the perfect feast for someone. All their favorites with some new and utterly delicious dishes! Can you imagine it? Then when the table has been finished and you asked how it was they say "What dinner? I don't remember any food." I know some people would never invite that guest ever again. However, the Lord is not some people. If you do so much as realize there is a table in front of you, He will bring you desserts.
I am completely shocked, awed, and surprised by Him.
"Our heavenly Father is more liberal in His views, and boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive." (Joseph Smith Jr)
It was a week after this musical epiphany and letter that my grandmas suggested the doctor. They have told me they weren't so sure, but both had the same thought at the same time and went ahead with it.
Remember how the doctor asked me what I love and I said "Music?"
After just the first session, I got a text from a friend to have lunch with her. I have seen scarcely anyone outside my family for the past year. No friends, because I'm too sick for them, and they have busy lives. After just two sessions with the doctor, I was able to laugh with her harder than I have in a long long long long long long long time. I was able to laugh without repercussions.
Also after the first session, my mom walked into my room. She had an envelope in one hand and was obviously trying to suppress excitement. In the envelope were too tickets to my second favorite band!
(Okay, for me to have a favorite anything is a big deal. They are a very very close second. I hold to number one for loyalty reasons) She had briefly mentioned to her friend I loved them, but that I was probably too sick to go. Her friend surprised both of us with free tickets.
This post has no pictures because I'm writing before heading to the concert. Who knows what will happen there!
Healing, true healing, comes from the inside out. I promise you, everyone who is struggling, or even if life is good, it will get better.
You can bank on it.
Shocked, grateful, and awed,
Me.
P.S.
I encourage you to listen and enjoy all of the Bastille acoustic songs. You have my permission to cry.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Ether 12:4- Anchors Part 2
Sorry! Sorry! I know, it's another two parter. (Especially since it's another to do with the last part one. You'll just have to wait.) I just really feel like this needs to be revisited.
Anchors of Testimony
After the last post about anchors, I gained a new addition to my personal library. I highly recommend "Passage By Faith" By James C Christensen for everyone. It's been a game changer for me. It's an art-book that changes every time you go through it. Well, it doesn't change, but your perspective does.
Why I love this book is how it articulates thoughts, feeling, concepts, and experiences so well. Its all communicated through art and words. There have been few times I've read through one of his experiences and thought "You too! That perfectly describes what happens to me!" I understand myself a little better for the time spent with Bro. Christensen.
I bring this book up because of a thought he shares in relation to the art piece, "Epiphany".If you happen to see this book at a friends house, pick it up and find the story (page 9). He explains an experience in which he felt a revelation while taking out the trash. It was a Wednesday night and he was suddenly filled with love and light and warmth. (You've felt this too, no? I can remember when I've felt this very clearly.)
I heard these moments referred to once as anchors (perhaps general conference or elsewhere in Passage of Faith). They are anchors we experience every now and then, perhaps for no reason at all, that serve as spiritually, emotionally, and quite literally. They are reminders of God's love and personal awareness. I have felt them with revelation, as well as for no reason at all. I really wish I could find where I found it!
What I find most fascinating about this anecdote is that the paint has multiple layers of gold leaf and gold paint that cannot be captured by camera. They must be experienced in person. The moments are the same. We can listen and share and watch and read, but the true aesthetic comes when living in it.
You may take a pause here. Stretch your legs. Get some water. Take a bathroom break. Or perhaps just sit for a while and ponder anchors you have felt.
Because her comes two more examples of how hope and the gospel of Jesus Christ are anchors, respectively.
"It's the storm that will pass, not you." (A musical I can't remember)
Once upon a time, I went on a mission. Surprise! On the way to the MTC, my brother asked me if I had any questions. I didn't know where to begin! The only problem was that I didn't know what it was that I did not know. (Mull it over a bit, you'll understand.) So I shrugged, and he laughed. Just before the door opened he told me that teachers wouldn't speak English for the first three days. That was the last word of advice I got before embarking on my mission.
He was right! The teachers spoke only Croatian. Some missionaries really struggled with this to the point of almost giving up. I was lucky and was totally unhindered. I knew it would happen and not to worry about it.
Dr Ashleigh (my new doctor) told me that as I was recovering I would have good days and bad days. The good days meant my body was healing and the bad days are when my body can't quite pull it together. I didn't have a bad day until this week, and it was bad. However frustrating and awful it was, I was somehow okay.
With both of these examples, there isn't really a way to prepare. I knew it was going to happen but not how. Similarly, life with the gospel is the same way. We are told trails and challenges will come. We don't know when, how, or what they will be, but we know they will come. Just as my brother promised, as the doctor promised, and as Christ promises, these trails end.
Knowing this does not make the storm any less wet, but when we think the storm will never end or that we will be washed away we have our anchors. Faith is believing the sun shines behind the clouds. Hope is believing we will see it again and feel it's warmth. Faith includes hoping in the flora that will come from the rain.
When we begin to think there is no end to life's storms, we can trust and believe in Christ. He will anchor us against the winds and bring to pass our eternal springs and summers.
If you ever need to feel that anchor, I encourage you to get on your knees and ask. I know now that the Lord is generous in showering His love and answers. I promise you He will answer.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Stay tune for...
Part 2 Of Puzzles and Prayers
What I believe is the last installment of this Ether 12:4 series (I still want to hear your insights on this verse)
Anchors of Testimony
 |
| Epiphany By James C Christensen |
After the last post about anchors, I gained a new addition to my personal library. I highly recommend "Passage By Faith" By James C Christensen for everyone. It's been a game changer for me. It's an art-book that changes every time you go through it. Well, it doesn't change, but your perspective does.
Why I love this book is how it articulates thoughts, feeling, concepts, and experiences so well. Its all communicated through art and words. There have been few times I've read through one of his experiences and thought "You too! That perfectly describes what happens to me!" I understand myself a little better for the time spent with Bro. Christensen.
I bring this book up because of a thought he shares in relation to the art piece, "Epiphany".If you happen to see this book at a friends house, pick it up and find the story (page 9). He explains an experience in which he felt a revelation while taking out the trash. It was a Wednesday night and he was suddenly filled with love and light and warmth. (You've felt this too, no? I can remember when I've felt this very clearly.)
I heard these moments referred to once as anchors (perhaps general conference or elsewhere in Passage of Faith). They are anchors we experience every now and then, perhaps for no reason at all, that serve as spiritually, emotionally, and quite literally. They are reminders of God's love and personal awareness. I have felt them with revelation, as well as for no reason at all. I really wish I could find where I found it!
What I find most fascinating about this anecdote is that the paint has multiple layers of gold leaf and gold paint that cannot be captured by camera. They must be experienced in person. The moments are the same. We can listen and share and watch and read, but the true aesthetic comes when living in it.
You may take a pause here. Stretch your legs. Get some water. Take a bathroom break. Or perhaps just sit for a while and ponder anchors you have felt.
Because her comes two more examples of how hope and the gospel of Jesus Christ are anchors, respectively.
 |
| "Sometimes The Spirit Touches Us Through Our Weaknesses" James C Christensen |
"It's the storm that will pass, not you." (A musical I can't remember)
Once upon a time, I went on a mission. Surprise! On the way to the MTC, my brother asked me if I had any questions. I didn't know where to begin! The only problem was that I didn't know what it was that I did not know. (Mull it over a bit, you'll understand.) So I shrugged, and he laughed. Just before the door opened he told me that teachers wouldn't speak English for the first three days. That was the last word of advice I got before embarking on my mission.
He was right! The teachers spoke only Croatian. Some missionaries really struggled with this to the point of almost giving up. I was lucky and was totally unhindered. I knew it would happen and not to worry about it.
Dr Ashleigh (my new doctor) told me that as I was recovering I would have good days and bad days. The good days meant my body was healing and the bad days are when my body can't quite pull it together. I didn't have a bad day until this week, and it was bad. However frustrating and awful it was, I was somehow okay.
With both of these examples, there isn't really a way to prepare. I knew it was going to happen but not how. Similarly, life with the gospel is the same way. We are told trails and challenges will come. We don't know when, how, or what they will be, but we know they will come. Just as my brother promised, as the doctor promised, and as Christ promises, these trails end.
 |
| "After Clouds, Sun" James C Christensen |
Knowing this does not make the storm any less wet, but when we think the storm will never end or that we will be washed away we have our anchors. Faith is believing the sun shines behind the clouds. Hope is believing we will see it again and feel it's warmth. Faith includes hoping in the flora that will come from the rain.
When we begin to think there is no end to life's storms, we can trust and believe in Christ. He will anchor us against the winds and bring to pass our eternal springs and summers.
If you ever need to feel that anchor, I encourage you to get on your knees and ask. I know now that the Lord is generous in showering His love and answers. I promise you He will answer.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Stay tune for...
Part 2 Of Puzzles and Prayers
What I believe is the last installment of this Ether 12:4 series (I still want to hear your insights on this verse)
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Of Puzzles: a Health Update
This will be in two parts. Even though the first part came chronologically second, I'm still debating on if I want share the second part. Sorry!
 |
| Credit: National Geographics |
If you're like me, you stand there staring at the puzzle while the occurrence sinks in. "But this is real life. That doesn't happen in real life." My life isn't a movie. My life is real, and movies are not. This is why it's important to have your own experiences.
By the by, we're 80% sure what's wrong with me.
My grandmas (close family friends, but we claim them and they claim us) suggested a doctor to me. After ending it with the last doctor, we've been getting a few suggestions. If you ever find yourself in the land of medical-ness, I wish you the best of luck. We tried getting into these doctors but couldn't get an appointment. (There's either a flaw in phones or receptionists. Let's blame phones.) Which my regular medical doctors, it could be 3 months before there's an opening. We had an appointment with the doctor my grandmas suggested in less than a week. (Props to her phone!) I was super skeptical though.
A chiropractor? Really? The last thing I wanted was someone sitting on my back. What on earth could she do for me? The only comment that came with the suggestion is "She's gentle". Still didn't mean anything to me.
One of my major concerns is that I wanted to treat the cause, not the symptoms. I want to get to the bottom of this! I can't live like this- a life like this is not living.
I went to the appointment SUPER skeptical. I have respect for my grandmas though, so I went to humor them and my mom. The first thing I'm told is to take everything I know about chiropractics and put it in a box. This doctor was only interested in treated the cause. Cool! Me too!
We talk about my novel of a health record, what we've found out so far, and all that jazz. I've never been in an accident or broken a bone. We decide to find a cause starting from birth. I guess it wasn't anything too eventful or exciting since I can't remember it. She asked my mom and got pretty much the same answer. No problems. "Where there forceps?" "Yeah, there would have been forceps." (That's something I didn't know.) "That's the problem!"
What?
She explained all her young patients who come in had a c-section or forceps at birth. This causes strain on the neck as it's pulled and shreds up fragile fibers within the body. From the get-go, your body is already trying to compensate.
She did a simple exam. Turns out there is a whole inch of difference between my legs! Most people at that point are given inserts. My case, of course, would be different. My weight is mostly on my left size.
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| Credit: Sebastian Eriksson Self Portrait |
Next up, x-rays. This revealed how truly contorted my body is. Terribly! It also reveals an extremely important factor. The atlas, the very first vertebra within the skull, is so far off in the wrong spot that it's crushing my brain stem. My neck curves the wrong way. My spine is a mess!
Why is that important? It's cutting of my nerves, one of the major ones being the vegas nerve. The vegas nerve is in charge of the heart, lungs, and stomach. It would be why I respiratory issues, and why my heart freaks out.
I read some papers she sent home with me, one of which is a chart with symptoms and the related section of the spine. So many things are explained, dating back to preschool and elementary school! She wasn't kidding when she said it was something from birth.
It was such a simple thing, yet it took us so long to find it. The treatment is adjustment of the atlas, which means a gentle message behind my ears. I've had 3 session and feel SO much better!
Why now? Why did it not become so severe until Serbia? It's something that builds up until your body says "Dosta mi je!" and gives in on itself. It could have been my extremely heavy and unbalanced bag, the stresses of missionary life, or it was just time.
As exciting as all of this is, it's only the picture of the puzzle. The circumstances surrounding it, the tipping of the table and the falling together, is what makes me sit down and really look and rejoice in it.
But that is part 2.
Part 2 is possibly still in process.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Oh Hello Metaphor: Glaciers
We take you from your prescheduled program of Ether 12:4.
I just like to start out by saying that I know God's hand is in all things. From our prayers, right down to the documentaries we watch.
I'm going to break this up into 3 parts. Part 1) Glaciers. Part 2) Metaphor 1. Part 3) Metaphor 2. Then you may return to your day.
I've found a new love in documentaries. I have been enjoying the NOVA variety. Fractals! Midget submarines! Evolution of dogs! I love it! Every now and then, one comes up that I think will not be so excited, and then I'm proven wrong. I love it! One of these was Glaciers.
Glaciers
The part I want to focus on is this phenomenon of vanishing lakes. Glaciers are spotted with lakes varying in size. In the summertime, these lakes vanish overnight. It was assumed that the water was simply absorbed into the surrounding ice. However, it was discovered the lakes where going down a hole to the bedrock. The water then acted as a lubricant, moving the glacier to the water where it would break apart.
Doubt and Questions
A day or two later, I was thinking about these lakes for no real reason and it suddenly occurred to me! This is why it's so important to address questions and doubts!
The brethren have always been clear in their encouragement to ask questions. If you have doubts, don't let them get under your skin and dislodge your testimony. (See what I did there?) These water parts can be used to strengthen and grow like the mass of a glacier or lead us to a watery demise. Don't ignore!
Kindness
Now we will liken the glacier to an icy disposition. Often, our kind acts or encouraging words, even words of testimony, will seem to have no effect. Even to the glacier, they will just come and pass. But theses things gather and work upon the icy surface until it is moved. They work from the inside out.
And this is when I was knocked off my feet in realization of how the Lord's hand is really in everything. It's wonderful.
You may be asking, how can one metaphor represent both good and bad? Simply this: opposition in all things. Another way to put this is that there are types and shadows in all things. Or as Sir Newton put "Each action has an opposite and equal reaction." Take your pick!
This is what I came up with. What parallels come to your mind? I want to know what metaphors you have come across recently. I really do! I'm kind of a nerd about these things.
I want to end with my testimony that I know God is reaching out for us always. He speaks in ways we understand. Are you listening?
P.S.
I re-found this talk a week after posting this. Elder Larry S Kacher, "Trifle Not With Sacred Things"
I just like to start out by saying that I know God's hand is in all things. From our prayers, right down to the documentaries we watch.
I've found a new love in documentaries. I have been enjoying the NOVA variety. Fractals! Midget submarines! Evolution of dogs! I love it! Every now and then, one comes up that I think will not be so excited, and then I'm proven wrong. I love it! One of these was Glaciers.
Glaciers
The part I want to focus on is this phenomenon of vanishing lakes. Glaciers are spotted with lakes varying in size. In the summertime, these lakes vanish overnight. It was assumed that the water was simply absorbed into the surrounding ice. However, it was discovered the lakes where going down a hole to the bedrock. The water then acted as a lubricant, moving the glacier to the water where it would break apart.
Doubt and Questions
A day or two later, I was thinking about these lakes for no real reason and it suddenly occurred to me! This is why it's so important to address questions and doubts!
The brethren have always been clear in their encouragement to ask questions. If you have doubts, don't let them get under your skin and dislodge your testimony. (See what I did there?) These water parts can be used to strengthen and grow like the mass of a glacier or lead us to a watery demise. Don't ignore!
Kindness
Now we will liken the glacier to an icy disposition. Often, our kind acts or encouraging words, even words of testimony, will seem to have no effect. Even to the glacier, they will just come and pass. But theses things gather and work upon the icy surface until it is moved. They work from the inside out.And this is when I was knocked off my feet in realization of how the Lord's hand is really in everything. It's wonderful.
You may be asking, how can one metaphor represent both good and bad? Simply this: opposition in all things. Another way to put this is that there are types and shadows in all things. Or as Sir Newton put "Each action has an opposite and equal reaction." Take your pick!
This is what I came up with. What parallels come to your mind? I want to know what metaphors you have come across recently. I really do! I'm kind of a nerd about these things.
I want to end with my testimony that I know God is reaching out for us always. He speaks in ways we understand. Are you listening?
P.S.
I re-found this talk a week after posting this. Elder Larry S Kacher, "Trifle Not With Sacred Things"
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Ether 12:4 - Anchor to the Souls
4 Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.
This may be my favorite part of this verse. Yes, there have been many talks and what-not, but this is what the phrase means to me.
Hope is often viewed as a characteristic of the "flighty". These dreamers and believers are often referred as having their "head in the clouds."
But they don't! Hope makes an anchor. Those who hope are grounded and "down to earth". They have a solid grasp.
Think of the function of an anchor. The ship at sea with it's anchor weighed. The waves come and it sways and it moves, but it remains rooted. The other ships may laugh at this proportionally small chain and object. But this ship doesn't get lost. It may move, but never is lost.
This movement, although anchored, is fantastic. It means we can still move around and explore without getting lost or off course.
How does hope make an anchor? It's a hard concept to get your hands around, and, to be honest, it requires experimentation and application to truly understand. It's an experience. It's felt but not seen. Like an anchor in the water!
Let's take the boat and replace it with a person. This person hopes for an ideal. Maybe it's a career, a relationship, or a state of being. They're trucking along towards their goal, but lo! What's this? A metaphorical wave! It's a setback! It's lack of progress! It's neigh-sayers and doubts! Will this person be whisked out to the Dark Sea of So Called Realists?
To be continued...
Just kidding. It depends on whether or not the person has hope. Do you remember sometime when you felt down and out and a memory or person gives you just a bit of hope? Remember how that hope sparked and sputtered but gave off light anyways? Maybe they reminded you of your dream. Maybe they shared their anchor with you, which I have experienced many times. *coughcough* Mom *coughcough* (Also looking at you, friends, family, and teachers.) If this person has hope, then they can exercise faith by continuing to sail through without top-sizing, not matter how much they may waver. If there is no hope, they drift off and become lost in the storm we call life. They might burnout or just not try for any improvement.
This can result in a lost hope becoming a cringing pain instead of a beacon. "That'll never happen to me."
Hope is an anchor to the soul.
The deepest part of you. If your soul doesn't drift, you won't drift. Your mind may reel and your heart may doubt, but in your soul, your heart of hearts, you are anchored.
Remember our friend John Adams? You know, they driving bullheaded force behind independence? What would have happened if he had no hope? What if he was cynic who tossed between the waves of life? Life would be very different nowadays. He used his anchor to help others remain anchored.
Have you felt that anchor in your life? Is it time for you to weigh the anchor? Have you even used the anchor of another or used your anchor to help someone else?
One last thought on this line: There are many other boats there. If we drift off course, we may become caught between them. Have you ever watched objects floating in waves? They tend to congregate. If you get stuck amongst other boats, you may become subject to their direction. You just kind of float where they float. If you become anchored to them, you can become very lost. If you anchor in the ground (as anchors are suppose to), the other boats may float around and away, but you are still secured.
My advise is this, secure yourself in a firm foundation. Hope in Christ. Firm, unmoving, and equally (if not more) invested in you.
Hope is often viewed as a characteristic of the "flighty". These dreamers and believers are often referred as having their "head in the clouds."
But they don't! Hope makes an anchor. Those who hope are grounded and "down to earth". They have a solid grasp.
Think of the function of an anchor. The ship at sea with it's anchor weighed. The waves come and it sways and it moves, but it remains rooted. The other ships may laugh at this proportionally small chain and object. But this ship doesn't get lost. It may move, but never is lost.
This movement, although anchored, is fantastic. It means we can still move around and explore without getting lost or off course.
How does hope make an anchor? It's a hard concept to get your hands around, and, to be honest, it requires experimentation and application to truly understand. It's an experience. It's felt but not seen. Like an anchor in the water!
To be continued...
Just kidding. It depends on whether or not the person has hope. Do you remember sometime when you felt down and out and a memory or person gives you just a bit of hope? Remember how that hope sparked and sputtered but gave off light anyways? Maybe they reminded you of your dream. Maybe they shared their anchor with you, which I have experienced many times. *coughcough* Mom *coughcough* (Also looking at you, friends, family, and teachers.) If this person has hope, then they can exercise faith by continuing to sail through without top-sizing, not matter how much they may waver. If there is no hope, they drift off and become lost in the storm we call life. They might burnout or just not try for any improvement.
This can result in a lost hope becoming a cringing pain instead of a beacon. "That'll never happen to me."
Hope is an anchor to the soul.
The deepest part of you. If your soul doesn't drift, you won't drift. Your mind may reel and your heart may doubt, but in your soul, your heart of hearts, you are anchored.
Remember our friend John Adams? You know, they driving bullheaded force behind independence? What would have happened if he had no hope? What if he was cynic who tossed between the waves of life? Life would be very different nowadays. He used his anchor to help others remain anchored.
Have you felt that anchor in your life? Is it time for you to weigh the anchor? Have you even used the anchor of another or used your anchor to help someone else?
One last thought on this line: There are many other boats there. If we drift off course, we may become caught between them. Have you ever watched objects floating in waves? They tend to congregate. If you get stuck amongst other boats, you may become subject to their direction. You just kind of float where they float. If you become anchored to them, you can become very lost. If you anchor in the ground (as anchors are suppose to), the other boats may float around and away, but you are still secured.
My advise is this, secure yourself in a firm foundation. Hope in Christ. Firm, unmoving, and equally (if not more) invested in you.
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